51/50

💽 “51/50” by L
[Intro: Jenny Miller & Patient]
It's gonna be a hearing tomorrow to see whether or not there's any legal basis why you have to stay here
I'm not crazy
If it was up to you would you like to leave the hospital tomorrow?
I'd like to leave the hospital tomorrow because I've got things I gotta do
Okay well-
It's the first time a lotta reds to be paid and all that
Okay..
[Chorus: L & Kitamerin]
I was born washed up
Hatred all I got (I got)
Wasted thoughts in my head
Got them keys but locked up (locked up)
God I need saving from myself
My room is my tomb is my cell
Punchin' the mirror hate myself Baby I'm so fucked up (I'm done)
I was born washed up
Hatred all I got (I got)
Kept all the words in my heart
I don't know how to talk (I can't)
Wrist is open my eyes closed
Blood is leaking of ma toes
Shits suicidal all I know
Sends shivers down my spine (I'm cold)


[Verse 1: L]
Anti-social fuck the people
At the middle of the night on the road
I look at the sky
Feel so small man I'm so lost
Is that moon? why it's more than two?!
Got me sweating I'm so nervous
Can't feel ma wheels on the surface
Guess I'm flying but it's not real
Just some dreams yet why I keep on crying crying
I'm too hard to deal with man I'm trying trying
Feeling so numb I'm so cold laughin' at my problems in the corner
I've been makin' love with my scars Fuck the perfection
I'm not what you see with your eyes is only my reflection
[Interlude: Jenny Miller & Patient]
I turned myself in on a 5150 because I felt like killing myself
Okay, so you came here voluntarily?
Yeah. So I could stop killing myself
And what was going on that you felt like killing yourself?
It was three o'clock in the morning, I couldn't sleep, all the same thoughts kept racing through my mind over and over again. I just wanted them to stop
[Chorus: L & Kitamerin]
I was born washed up (washed up)
Hatred all I got (I got)
Wasted thoughts in my head
Got them keys but locked up (I'm lost)
God I need saving from myself
My room is my tomb is my cell
Punchin' the mirror hate myself Baby I'm so fucked up (oh god)
I was born washed up
Hatred all I got (killjoy)
Kept all the words in my heart
I don't know how to talk (I can't)
Wrist is open my eyes closed
Blood is leaking of ma toes
Shits suicidal all I know
Sends shivers down my spine (I'm down)


[Verse 2: L]
Doubting my existence questioning it all
What if it's all just lies?
My mind's tired now
Left you with a text that says:
“I'm so sorry baby
I'm feeling so dead lately
I'm zoning out and fadin'
You see I'm not okay
I got nothin' left to say”
Snappin' out of it I'm in my car
Sky is dark cause I can't see no stars
This the end of ma dream
Was enough all I said was a part of a scene I've longing to see
This kid's haunted and filled with drugs Slowly turn to bones
I've been lookin down the graves I've dug on and on it goes
[Outro: Jenny Miller & Patient]
The way I came in here is unlike any other way I've ever come into the hospital, asking people to please help me so I do not kill myself
That's all the questions I have right now
Now can I go back in there? I'm getting very uncomfortable out here
I think somebody might be trying to shoot me
Somebody might be trying to kill me