Myself To Blame

[Verse 1]
I can't say it to your face cause I don't know what you'll think
So I put it on the track and I say like this
I can't say it to your face cause it makes my heart sink
So I put it on a track and I say it like this
I fucked up again just another Willie effort
Life's a bitch I've got em all stressing
Waking up the next day damn its depressing
What's it gonna take to make me learn my lesson
Chance after chance time and time again
Why can't I stop I'm going around the fucking bend
I'm loosing all my friends it's too late to make amend
I'll have no one left when I have reached the end
I'm a little cunt Ill never change but I ain't phony
It's completely understood, that you don't want to know me
Thanks for the love and support that you've shown me
But I've known it all along, I'm going to die lonely
That's just the way it is and that's the way I am
Hurting so many people was never the plan
I used to never face my problems or my troubles so I ran
But now I'm going to stand and take it like a man
It's time to grow up I'm no longer a little boy
But that little kid inside, he died and got destroyed
I just missed jail got a job and got employed
But it'll never be enough to make up and fill the void
I love making people smile and feel alive
On the flip side I ruin people's lives and make em cry
Lying in my bed I can almost hear them sigh
What's it gonna take this time to get me by
He's never going to change man he'll always been the same
A heart full of shame with myself to blame

[Chorus]
It's so hard waking up every day in pain
Another day to face with myself to blame
I've tried so hard but I'm never gonna change
Walking around this world with my heart full of shame
When it all went bad I guess it just stays the same
I keep myself fighting wicked thoughts in my brain
I know you can relate because you know what I'm saying
I put my emotion in the tracks that I'm laying

[Verse 2]
Whenever people get close to me I push them away
Blood rushes through my veins cause my brain's insane
I'm in a psychosis, I don't know what I'm saying
I'm waking up the next day on my knees praying
People gave me so much and they were so good to me
But when you see the reality, they really shouldn't be
I was down with people, that thought they understood me
But I don't know myself, so how could it be?
Every time I went out I'd make a mess I had to mend
I'm acting like a menace even to my best friends
Now its sorry mate no more, this is where the rest stands
I pushed away my girlfriend sent from the heavens
The things I do disgust me I don't have no excuse
No one's blamed for staying away to avoid the abuse
A broken heart can't be fixed like a broken tooth
I understand when they're saying, what's the fucking use
I know what I've done and I admit it but it's hard
I know I've played the wrong cards I know why I'm barred
I've been bad from the start and I know I left scars
My life's gone so fast I'm looking back at the past
I'm trying to work it out I'm looking up at the stars
If I just didn't drink and stayed away from the bars
But that's just how it is man I gotta accept it
It's all out of control and I wish I never let it
I just run true to form, and it's gotta be expected
And it's also hectic, just like you suspected
I tried to make the change but I just stayed the same
A bunch of broken hearts with myself to blame

[Chorus]
It's so hard waking up every day in pain
Another day to face with myself to blame
I've tried so hard but I'm never gonna change
Walking around this world with my heart full of shame
When it all went bad I guess it just stays the same
I keep myself fighting wicked thoughts in my brain
I know you can relate because you know what I'm saying
I put my emotion in the tracks that I'm laying

[Verse 3]
Back when I was fifteen I destroyed my family
Giving them more reason to stay mad at me
I hurt em so much I bet they wished they never had
It hurts me to say it and I say it sadly
If I could take it back and make it better I would
I'd take away the pain in a second if I could
But they can't be blamed because they never understood
Well that's just life, it ain't all good
It's way too late but I'm saying that I'm sorry
Thanks for the support when the cops got on me
My moms at home crying, in bed and she's sobbing
I'm at the magistrates with my dad in the lobby
It was unconditional the love that they gave me
But all the help in the world couldn't save me
I'm trashing my room when the angers raging
What the fuck happened to mummy's little baby
They gave me everything and I threw it all away
Then that day came and caught up I had to pay
I'm a fucking disgrace what more can I say
And don't think for a second, that I'm not ashamed
Everything I did, I have or live with
I'm looking back thinking, what the fuck is this?
Having dreams of dying with my wrists slit
And forget that day that I was no longer a kid
Tins rattling in the back of the lane
Sins gathering in the back of my brain
With life battling, I'll never be the same
I'm never gonna change with myself to blame (blame blame)

[Bridge]
Say it like that I'm not asking for forgiveness
Just a bit of understanding a bit of insight
To how my behavior affects other people
And how it affects me
Don't think I just do that shit because I don't care
Because I do, come on (uh)

[Chorus]
It's so hard waking up every day in pain
Another day to face with myself to blame
I've tried so hard but I'm never gonna change
Walking around this world with my heart full of shame
When it all went bad I guess it just stays the same
I keep myself fighting wicked thoughts in my brain
I know you can relate because you know what I'm saying
I put my emotion in the tracks that I'm laying