If Two Gay Guys Kiss, It Isn't Gay

[Weest]

Got it.
I got it.
I think I got it.
No okay, um using this.
Using this all right?

So I need you all to follow along me all right?
2 times 2
That's 4
Negative 2 times 2
equals negative 4, right?
Negative 2 times negative 2
Equals positive 4

By this math, we can scientifically deduce
that if two gay men
are to kiss

It's not gay
Okay, so let me explain.
This we use the negative sign to indicate that
There is gay present now.
We use negative because across cultures in the past and even now in the present it is Connotative least synonymous with the word bad.
Gay equals bad, that's just how it is.
I mean think about it.
It just rolls off the tongue
But well, Timmy comes walking in your living room with a glass or orange juice, the dumbass falls, spills that shit everywhere
"God damn it Timmy! Why are you so fucking gay?!"
I mean, it just works!
Anyway
We're back on track now.
Now you can't say that kissing isn't multiplication.
It's addition.
You can't say that because
Kissing is a prelude to sex
S e x
S e x
That's why we use multiplication
Also, gay sex is loud, roll the tape.
[Gay Sex plays in the background, while Weest gags and kills himself mid through.]

Okay.
Loudness is measure in decibles
but decibels those units of measure
don't obey the same rules as traditional math
They are logarithmic
meaning if you have a speaker playing at 20 Decibels
and you add another speaker playing at 20 decibels.
You don't get 40 decibles
Decibels in fact what you get is twenty three Decibels
because sound is logarithmic in it's units of measure
just like sex
And that is why we use multipliction
This is fucking science, man.

You can't say it's addition because two plus two gives you the same result as two times two
It is non edition.
We're not even talking about the lips present.
We're talking about the balls.
To write this out for you.
We have two gables times two gables equals four sex points.
That number is significant
This is not four balls.
This is for sex points, a positive number of sex points
meaning straight sex has occurred and you have an Orgasm
now the orgasm is actually short for,
"Yeah, alright mate, it's pretty good"
So when you're out in public and you hear two guys make out and then after they'll say "Yeah that's pretty good."
Rest assured.
Nothing gay has actually occurred.
Now when you have an equation like what I have right here
Where a straight man, has kissed a gay man, you get negative sex points.

Now negative sex points results in something called an andgasm and the and in andgasm is actually short for what God would say when you get to heaven, which is "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Down the hell with you gay-boi."

Balls and sex points are required to have an orgasm
Now for woman, when you work out that differential equation, you will receive a zero and this is why woman do not have Orgasms.
The female orgasm is proven to be a myth in this case.

Basically the point I'm trying to make is stay away from gay balls.

[Student]
Uhh... Mr. Weest, I'm kind of confused, what if lesbians kissed? uhh...

[Weest]
Well if you paid attention, you would know how to do the math.
It's just a simple gay equation.
But you apply it to lesbians so you have here is gay zero, because woman have no balls.
Times gay 0 because it's a lesbian so the figures will be the same and your product will be 0

Just like that, but that 0 is actually shorthand and our full figure will the H and T, and that is because when girls kisses, this is fucking hot.

All right gentlemen. I'm glad I was given the opportunity to talk about this with you today, but if you don't mind, I'm gonna' be on my way.

[Student]
Hey, wait, Mr. Weest.

[Weest]
Uh, huh?

[Student]
Can you help me with this question?

[Weest]
Yeah, let me see your work.

[Student]
Uh, I got stuck because I'm trying to figure out if it's gay for straight men to kiss.

[Weest]
Well, you answered your own question here. Straight kissing straight is straight, because they're, they're straight.

[Student]
Ohh...

[Weest]
So yeah.

Yeah, no you're right ok.
Thanks already guys this is it for me.
If you don't mind

I'm going to go french kiss my boys. Hey Ryan, yeah

[Student 1]
H-hey, hey Ryan

[Ryan]
Yeah?

[Student 1]
Do you get any of this stuff, like do you get any of what he was teaching, cuz like I'm trying to do the math if it's gay if I kissed my mom and it's says that it's hot. I-is that right?

[Weest]
Oh yeah, actually there is an exception to the rule if you kiss your mom, it's gay because

Your mum gay.