Welcome To Hollywood

I used to be a stripper with a bunch of other hoes
Sweatin for a dollar, livin' in squalor
So I moved here with a roomie, started making movies
Suckin' dick at parties and hanging out with groupies

Dreaming of a bigger place, saving for a better face
So I post a wanted ad, "looking for a sugar dad"
Pretty soon I'm makin' 6 figures a year
Got my double D's and I'm hangin' with celebrities
Oh oh, oh oh

Sayin' mazel tov to goyas, fist bump with my broyas
It's a celebration bitches, l'chaim'n to future riches
Thank god this town is kosher, tuchuses on every corner
Ain't your average mother fucker, yeah the chicks are like no other...

Using my cards to k
Vetch for some shikksas
Schleppin' my shit to single mixers
Drink matzah soup when I feel blue-ish
Funny thing is, I ain't even Jewish

Welcome to Los Angeles International Airport
The temperature is 75 degrees, sunny, with a slight chance of silicone showers.

Welcome to Hollywood, Hollywood
The city of the rich and misunderstood
Don't stay too long or you'll get a disease
Here in the city of angel sleaze.

This town is too hard without the aid of pharmaceuticals
I'm gnawing at my fingers, ruining my cuticles.
Wrote six screenplays but haven't sold one
then again this shit isn't s'posed to be fun.

So I'm workin' on my career, while I'm waiting tables
'Cause that's how we do it in City of Angels.
On the bright side, I just scored a pot license
Said I needed help for my chronic arthritis! Priceless

My name is Muhammed and I drive taxi
Don't fuck me with me or I'll get nasty
I came to this city without a bed
Just dollar to my name and a turban on my head

I sell rug in Pakistan
But here they don't like rug, yeah
So I drive your drunk ass, smell you pass gas
Fuck you, fuck you

You and all your drunk friend, you barf in my cab and then you leave
You don't pay me in cash or you don't give me your sheep
Fuck you!
Listen to me, you drunk fuck!

Welcome to Hollywood, Hollywood
The city of the rich and misunderstood
Don't stay too long or you'll get a disease
Here in the city of angel sleaze.

Two hands in the air for this giant city,
Street lights, big dreams, they're all lookin' shitty
No place in the world that can compare,
Just go smell the stench in the air

Everybody say yeah, yeah (Yeah)
Yeah, yeah (Yeah)
Yeah, yeah (Yeah)
Yeah

Welcome to Hollywood, Hollywood
The city of the rich and misunderstood
Don't stay too long or you'll get a disease
Here in the city of angel sleaze.

Welcome to Hollywood, Hollywood
The city of the rich and misunderstood
Don't stay too long or you'll get a disease
Here in the city of angel sleaze.