H-Mail

Schaffer the darklord
Fucking- Schaffer the darklord!
I, God, I just, I hate that guy so much
I'm going to write him a letter
and tell him

"Dear Schaffer the darklord,
You fucking suck, dude.
And I can't wait for your little career to end."
No need to read it back, or spell check it; fuck it, click send.

All of my friends they think that Schaffer's so great (so great)
Half of them have him in their top eight (top eight)
I anxiously await a date when fate will place us face to face
Just to tell that fake how much I hate him but today I'll use myspace

And I'll place lots of comments up on his page
A flame war I will rage hell, fill his box with h-mail
Trash his name and bash him all across the internets on every domain
which Google traces back to his name
my disdain for this man
overflows to his fans
It's time I educate these idiots the best that I can
They're so amused by his abuse of rap music
I'll have to craft a diss track
added just to prove there is nothing to it.

And with my four foot bong
I'll flip my four track on
Than I'll rant on and on
until I've written this song

I'll dedicate it to him
stewing in my seething hatred.
mail it to him,
Schaffer, I fucking hate you dude and now you're ruined do it

(Chorus)
I hate you Schaffer and it's time I let you know how much
Your music's stupid and your rhymes, your beats, your flows they all suck
Who are these people, do these geeks believe you're evil? That's fucked.
You're just a goofy douche bag you could use a good smack up against the head
When will you give it up?
When will you give it up?

(Verse 2)
Hey hey star
What's up bro
I read your bio
I see you're making big moves out there in Ohio
Or Idaho i don't know whatever hick bum fuck town you must trapped in
Sorry dude - it must suck
Anyhow champ listen up
I got some advice
about your little rap career
If I were you I'd think twice
First off you're a band man
And bands can never make it
You gotta be a real man in this rap game if you wanna take it
I never listen to nobody but my own shit
Nobody rocking like my own boys my own click
We all got big dicks and huge shirts and fitted hats
You look like a hipster, what kind of shit is that?
You ain't a b-boy
A boy rocking a mustache
Those brown pants will get your ass whipped real fast
Their ain't no real rap art up on your profile
When I be posing for a picture never no smile
You smile way to much
It makes you look gay
What kind of whack bullshit did your hook say
You read a book? Yay!
You won't get no play
Either from the ladies or my iPod there's no way
You're a white boy with gay friends
And really at the days end
Your street cred is 0 out of 10
Put down the pen I got this game locked
Holla at your boy

I know your dying
I know your crying on a shoulder
I know you read my letter because I checked the sent folder
It ain't over
I've got an arsenal of vitriol to blast at you from 22 new diggs,
On you and youtube, you,(?)
pitifully chicken shit insipid dickless idiot
You shitty spitting little bitching sissy quit your hissy fit
A hack with a backpack as whack as a fanny pack?
Your sack of crap act makes me wanna yak - fact.
No one likes your trite boring poorly written white flow
go away tonight why don't you throw away your mic, so
Fucking unfunny dummy, you wanna make fun of me?
Your just another Eminem and Weird Al wannabe.
And as a hip-hop-head I defend the culture,
I say your act is racist, face it Schaffer you're a vulture.
A dozen thumbs-down on ten tracks, do the math,
I'm your number last fan, and at last you'll feel my wrath!"

(Chorus)
I hate you schaffer and I think it's time I let you know how much
Your musics stupid and your rhymes your beats your flows they all suck
Who are these people do these geeks believe you're evil? That's fucked
You're just a goofy douche bag you could use a good smack up against the head
when will you give it up
Wether you give it up

So schaffer, hey
Since I've shown you the way
I'm sure that your towel will
now be thrown in any day

No doubt I'm out now
I've covered all I've had to say
Later days schaffe - oh, wait
P.S.
You're gay

PWNED!