Good Time

SAMMY J:
It was a Monday
when we took the car
and drove it to the shops-

RANDY:
I think it was a Tuesday-

SAMMY J:
I'm pretty sure it wasn't-
no you're right it was a Tuesday,

BOTH:
Cause Derek had the permit

RANDY:
It's a clear way on a Monday

SAMMY J:
Yeah but we parked there

BOTH:
So it must have been a Tuesday

SAMMY J:
When we took the car-

RANDY:
Did Derek give that permit back?

SAMMY J:
He said he will when he went to Queensland

RANDY:
We should chase that up

SAMMY J:
We will

BOTH:
Still

SAMMY J:
We were in the car
driving to the shops-

RANDY:
I'm serious that permit wasn't cheap

SAMMY J:
Relax we'll get the permit back

RANDY:
That's what you said about the vacuum cleaner

SAMMY J:
Well that was different he's got allergies

RANDY:
Like what?

SAMMY J:
You saw the rash

RANDY:
Its eczema

SAMMY J:
He has to clean the carpet cause his cats got hairy bollocks

RANDY:
He should get that thing de-sexed

SAMMY J:
He can't he breeds them it's his way of coping with a difficult divorce

RANDY:
As far as I can see his only allergy is giving back the shit he borrows from his neighbours

SAMMY J:
So we were driving north-

RANDY:
I mean the guy can still afford to go to Nusa

SAMMY J:
Yeah what's your point?

RANDY:
He should just buy a vacuum cleaner

SAMMY J:
Look I leant it in good faith,
how was I supposed to know
he'd take it inter-state and give it to his niece for her first communion

RANDY:
I didn't know he had a niece!

SAMMY J:
It's complicated see his sister had a friend who died
she's barren so she felt obliged to care for-

RANDY:
So it's not actually his niece

SAMMY J:
Well not by blood

RANDY:
That's even worse I can't believe he gave our vacuum cleaner to a random stranger

SAMMY J:
So we were driving north-

RANDY:
South

SAMMY J:
South towards the-

RANDY:
North?

SAMMY J:
No it was northern suburbs

RANDY:
South?

BOTH:
That's right
The map was upside-down but
We got there in the end

SAMMY J:
and parked outside the fish and chip shop

RANDY:
Fruit shop-

SAMMY J:
Milk bar-

RANDY:
Hardware?

BOTH:
Bake-no haberdashery
It's next door

RANDY:
To the house and home shop

SAMMY J:
We went in and bought a vacuum cleaner

BOTH:
When we came outside

SAMMY J:
We had a parking fine

RANDY:
Cause Derek had the permit

SAMMY J:
He said he'd give it back!

RANDY:
He didn't!

SAMMY J:
Evidently!

RANDY:
I won't be paying that!

SAMMY J:
I'm trying to tell a fucking story

RANDY:
Well tell it then

SAMMY J:
I will

RANDY:
Good!

SAMMY J:
I'm telling it right now!

RANDY:
Well tell it then!

SAMMY J:
Yes I'm trying to!

RANDY:
Good then tell it!

SAMMY J:
Fine I'll tell it!
We were driving
home after the shops

RANDY:
But when we pulled into the driveway

SAMMY J:
Felt a bump

RANDY:
Got out

BOTH:
And realised we'd run over Derek's cat
Who was being held
By Derek at the time
We took the permit from his cold dead hands and ran away
GOOD TIMES.