99 Problems

Yeah, last year a lot of motherf*ckers asked me
Why I didn't do no old sex nasty sh*t
But this year I went down to Miami and got my n*gga from 2 Live
Brother Marquis in the house! (Yeah I'm the motherf*ckin n*gga)
Yeah, we gonna answer the question about girl problems
All these n*ggas is havin girl problem, Marq
(Huh, tell them man, tell them how it is)
Lemme tell you what time is it..

I got a ho from the East, got a ho from the West
Got a ho that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest
I got a ho from the North, a ho from the South
A ho that likes to suck it long and hold it in her mouth
I got a b*tch with hair, a b*tch with none
A b*tch with a knife, a b*tch with a gun
A b*tch with a ass big as a TV set
And there's a b*tch over there; hey, the one I'm gonna get
But yo but maybe not, she might not like me though
No sweat to a vet; I'll slam her sister, though
Word, Ice in the whole damn herd
I f*ck 'em all and leave 'em on the curve
I got a b*tch with a mink, who rocks a fat gold link
Who likes to f*ck me with her ass up on the kitchen sink
Got a b*tch with tits, a b*tch with ass
A b*tch with none, but hey, I'd give her a pass
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you having girl problems, I feel bad for you son
Got 99 problems and a b*tch ain't one - hit it

[Hook]

Nah, a b*tch ain't one

[Verse 2: Ice-T]
I got a b*tch that's old, a b*tch that's new
A b*tch who love velvet in the colors blue
I got a b*tch who's fat, a b*tch who's built
A b*tch who all her titties give out powdered milk
I got a b*tch who's funny, a b*tch who ain't
A b*tch who can sing, a b*tch who cain't
A b*tch who loves f*cking on a airplane..
I even got a b*tch off Soul Train
I got a b*tch who rolls a rag-top Benz
Long ends
I got a b*tch who's broke as a bum
But she's the most fun
I got a b*tch who play piano, a b*tch who don't
A b*tch who dances naked, a b*tch who won't
A b*tch who's short, a b*tch who's tall
A b*tch who burns my pager with priority calls
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son
Got 99 problems and a b*tch ain't one - hit me

[Hook]

Yo Marquis - you from Miami man why don't you show these motherf*ckers all the over the world
The 2 Live style of how the b*tches treat a mothaf*ckin' fly n*gga like you

[Verse 3: Brother Marquis]
I got 99 problems and a b*tch ain't one of them
I don't trip on hoes, cause I don't need none of them
pus*y's the temptation, di*k's the persuasion
All hoes suck c*ck n*gga how you play 'em?
That's why I don't sleep on 'em, I just freak on 'em
Stick di*k in they mouth; take it out and I skeet on 'em
The n*gga the one-nighter, the b*tch exciter
I only love my hoes when I'm going up inside her
Problem number one is getting money
I'd rather taste the green than sip the honey
So don't expect nothing cause I ain't offering
I go hard on my b*tches, cause I'm never never softening
Putting the demand on 'em, f*ck 'em and scram on 'em
The "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" game is ran on 'em
So f*ck how you feel, your f*cking cheap thrill
I hope you took the pill cause I won't pay the bill
Getting pus*y's just another expense
If pus*y pays the bills then di*k pays the rent
I only need a ho for one thing and that's to cum
I've got 99 problems and a b*tch ain't one

[Hook]

[Ice-T]
Ha! Yo Marquis my motherf*cker you got problems man?
(A b*tch ain't one) Aww sh*t!
Now let me tell you how to do this sh*t

[M] I got a b*tch that loves to G
[I] She'll f*ck you right after she f*cks me
[M] I got a b*tch who loves both
[I] I got a b*tch who loves handcuffs and ropes
[I] I got a b*tch that's fast, a b*tch that's slow
[M] A b*tch that's a virgin and a b*tch that's a ho
[I] A b*tch that lies
[M] A b*tch that's true
[I] A b*tch who's a man because they're "b*tches 2"
[I] I got a b*tch that's cool
[M] A b*tch that's hot
[I] A b*tch who loves rap, a b*tch who loves rock
[I] A b*tch who's lost and one who knows where it's at
[I] She gets up under me and purrs like a cat
[M] I got a b*tch that runs, I got a b*tch that walks
[M] I got a b*tch that yells, I got a b*tch who talks
[I] I got a b*tch that's dirty, got a b*tch that's neat
[I] I got a super fine b*tch that I knocked in the swap meet

[Ice-T]
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you having girl problems, I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a b*tch ain't one - hit me..
No, a b*tch ain't one

[Hook]

Huh, you know a b*tch ain't one

[Ice-T & Brother Marquis]
Youknahmsayin? I got problems with my mothaf*ckin' rent Marquis
But a b*tch ain't one
Man you got yourself nothing man
f*ck them raggedy stank-ass hoes n*gga
A b*tch ain't one
I got a problems staying out here on these streets
With the police trying to take a n*gga out, y'know?
But a b*tch ain't one
Got problems with motherf*ckers.. buying my records
But a b*tch ain't one
f*ck 'em all, n*gga f*ck them motherf*ckers
Youknahmsayin? A b*tch ain't one
Got problems man
All them motherf*ckers can kiss my mothaf*ckin' ass.. for real
Really, n*ggas worrying about b*tches
They better, they better find something else to worry about