Bender vs Miracle

[Round 1: Bender]
Now when your mommy called Bender over to bend her over
Don't worry, I wasn't drunk enough to hit that sh*t, hell I'm never sober
It's a little joke to lighten the mood before you see him burn at the stake
It's funny I just finished with Aftershock, now I got another weak version of Quake?
And I asked for a miracle but this wasn't a prayer
No hands together, face to God with my chin up in the air
Nah, I was just askin' for this chump, who's had six months to prepare
Dodgin' me since winter, well aware that the b*tch doesn't compare
See I was good to go
If Mark would've flew here then to do this I would've had him broke in January like a New Year's resolution
You're from a town of 2,000 people, you couldn't get more country
My lyrics are frightening and confusing to him like indoor plumbing
And your live show is garbage
This guy's so retarded
Syco looks like a Philharmonic maestro from Harvard
He says to teenyboppers, "I got my own apartment."
Tryin' to lure them back to that grain silo near Dartmouth
And if you wanna get dipped like a piece of trash like him
You can spot most of Mark's apparel at Mark Rick's Warehouse or Bargain Harold's half price bin
That's right, sh*t, I'm too consistent to choose the best of
So when you heard me start to rhyme you should've made a break for it like ?uestlove
While I've been working on these non stop quality bars
Mark's been working on his ma and pop's broccoli farm
b*tch you could not cause bodily harm
If your parent's labeled you a Mark then you probably are
So I'm asking you, what type of Miracle could this man produce?
Jesus turned water to wine, you turn a 40 into Faggot Juice?
So cream puffs are sayin', "You the man. I'm your hugest fan."
Cause you rode a ferry for six hours but you ain't take no trip to Newfoundland
Pop his chin, life him off the ground like a rocketship
If he's talkin' sh*t, I'ma drop the Kid like Caustic did

[Round 2: Bender]
Now in your last battle, all that irrelevant noise was hella annoyin'
With you rappin' 'bout sh*t like cellulars pointin' and elephants boinkin'
That's why I came here to p*ss on you like you got stung by jellyfish poison
On second thought, I can tell he'd enjoy it
Hell he already smells like he fell in the toilet
My brainstorm a massive category 8
Lightening crash, rain drenched the land for 40 days
When I bang out a 16 the laboratory shakes
When he bangs out a 16 that's statutory rape
And this the match you wanted right?
Another punch like that you're gonna have to stop the fight
So I ain't come here for horseplay, but I might just bludgeon this cornflake
Apply his blood like it's warpaint and snipe the judge at my courtdate
You have a face like a f*ckin' catfish
All I know that's for certain
You should hide behind a mask or go and find a plastic surgeon
I polish my bars til the final draft is perfect
So I ain't f*ckin' wit' you youngins like Irish Catholic churches
Catch a spinal fraction, get your chiropractor workin'
Light a match and burn him and watch the fire hazard worsen
I'm just tryin' to fight off all these psychopathic urges
Cause I don't let off steam I let off pyroclastic surges
And the word is, the boys were waitin' for your wife at her crib like an intervention
Hollohan brought the liquor and convinced the trick to spread 'em
He told me by the time she fixed her second gin and seven
The whole party stuffed that box twice each like a rigged election
And how you gettin' these Newfoundland women?
You been scoutin' b*tches with malnutrition down at the Value Village?
Like that last hood rat you were with, little f*ck pocket
Not even coal power have that many trains run on it
So I'ma throw him back in sh*t's creek, this deep, six feet
Fish feed, mincemeat, Blitzkrieg, history, you get me?
Somebody toe tag him, send that body back to Digby
I just made this kid my b*tch, ayo Rich feel free to dig deep

[Round 3: Bender]
Now, I'm the sole reason ya honey's so tired
She went up and down the shaft takin' loads like a Nova Scotian coal miner
I gave her multis like a ghostwriter
Now Classified put you and your boys on, so how can you rap like mobsters
When your own mentor did a PSA for Crimestoppers?
Sayin' basically to kids, "You could hustle hard, but why bother? When you could dime out your neighbor for up to $50,000."
Now I got love for Scotian peeps though, when [?] grind on the east coast
Or you relocated to NY, or the westside here in T.O
But this weak hoe ducked me twice and that's some sh*t I can't let slide
You should deep throat Organik for even lettin' there be a next time
And I'm amazed at the fact that some MC's still respect you
When you had your head shaved like a maze on the back of a Denny's children's menu
sh*t, even ya ma dukes got a slick fade like Sling Blade
I swear on the King James Bible she's a spitting image of Ving Rhames
Sorry player, I'm Noriega crossed with Schwartzenegger
The orphan maker, orchestrate your fate in the torture chamber
A force of nature, fires form and warn the forest ranger
You're a flamer, if we dropped you off in a gay bar you'd probably catch a rape charge like Lawrence Taylor
What?! Cause I've seen him with an Onyx t-shirt and a New York adjustable
But when I asked if he liked Sticky Fingaz thing just got really uncomfortable
Face it, a real city would have this kid for dinner
He thought Jane Stripe was a brand of chicken fingers
But when they find him dead, I bet the wound is self inflicted
Burner by the bed, f*ck it, who the hell would miss him?
You should've never made it past the Shoot Yourself division
Oh my bad, Elements League, right? Like you could tell the difference
Now wait a minute, okay, I'm kiddin'
Y'all know Darkside is crazy with it
But you claim it as your set when in fact it's just a place you visit
Your best bet to make a livin' is getting sent away to prison
Cause I heard you're good at doin' crazy sh*t with your mouth like Kaleb Simmonds