I Really Do Love Penelope

She took me to a pub to meet her friends
She didn't bother to introduce me
I was embarrassed to no end
If she so much as noticed, she kept it to herself
I don't think she's evil, just insensitive to anyone else
And I really do love Penelope
Though I know it may sound strange for me to say
But I really really do love Penelope
Not that it makes much difference, anyway
If the girl gets drunk and falls down
I would carry her home
And maybe she'd do the same for me
But I don't know
You know I'd like to find out, but
I can wait
I can't help but have a little faith in the girl
But I really do love Penelope
Though I know it may sound strange for me to say
Oh, but I really really do love Penelope
Not that it makes much difference, anyway
Variations on a theme
"Oh, get thee away from me,"
Pulled from her lips onto my ear
Reluctantly I urged my feet on in retreat
Oh, for once she made her position clear
Still, I really do love Penelope
Though I know it may sound strange for me to say
You know, I really, really do love Penelope
Not that it makes much difference, either way