Merry Muthaf*ckin' Xmas

[Dolemite]
Come on over, honey
And give your uncle Dolemite a kiss
[*kissing sounds*]
Well, what you want, baby?

[Baby]
Would you tell me a story?

[Dolemite]
You want me to tell you a story?

[Baby]
Hell yeah!

[Other Baby]
Me too!

[Dolemite]
Yes honey, I'mma tell you a story
About the bad-ass Eazy-E
He was drinking whisky and gin at the age of three
Listen and listen well
He's a bad muthafu-

[Mother]
Gimmie that god damn book!
Here, let me read you this one
Christmas in Compton
It was a silent night, yes, a holy night
Until Mr. Claus turned into Santa muthaf*ckin' Wright

[Carolers]
Deck the halls with balls of holly
Fa la la la la la la la la
Tis the season to be jolly....

[Eazy-E]
Merry Christmas, motherf*cker!
[*Gun Shots*]

[Verse 1: Eazy-E]
Merry muthaf*ckin' Christmas and a ho ho ho!
While I'm riding that cot under the mistletoe
Now dashing through the snow
In a candy red top 6-4 (hittin' them switches)
Over the hills I go
Laughing at this ho
Nuts on her chin ring
Making me feel right
Oh what fun it is to know
That I'm gonna get this pus*y tonight
So ring them bells, ring them bells
She's taking it all the way
Oh what fun it is to watch her suck my di*k this way, hey
Ring them bells, ring them bells
She's taking it all the way
Oh what fun it is to nut while she's sucking my di*k
Oh yay!
This is the season to get bitten
Compton crime lick and I'm smoking on this sh*t

[Santa]
Ho ho ho, come sit on my face - I mean lap
And tell me what you want for Christmas, ho ho

[Verse 2: Menajahtwa]
I want a sleigh ride
A Christmas Eve stick of rum
She said I slide down the chimney and I'm gonna c*m
A VCR on the set with nothing but porno flicks
Get some Rudolph the red nose reindeer
Getcha that gum like a everlastin' gobstoper
Give me a hump for his c*ck will be the party poppa
I dig a ho, crack a dough by the nuts oh
I want to be having a good time f*ckin' in tha snow
I made him drop to his knees
Yeah you know what's up
I said here's some candy canes eat'em up
I send him down, they jumping down, swinging by my toes
Send me some cheese, I want the candy cream and the loot
I want Santa to send me a little jack horny guy
I want him to shake me ??
So all on the hunt, bon appetite
And a condom in a tree

[Eazy-E]
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, my two front teeth
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
Yo wheres ya rhyme tell me Buckwheat

[Buckwheat]
Buckwheat is a wascal
That's no Christmas
And all the toys, boys and girls
f*ck ya wishes
I not happy, overjoyed in this muthaf*cka
No indo under my tree so Santa be a sucka
No sh*t on the roof, cough up Rudolph's nuts
When I was young I was the only kid
Who had enough guts to be
Good ole hearing on the East
I'd stay awake just to let America know
That Santa was a fake
I used to believe in Saint di*k when Elvis was alive
But all the f*cking bullsh*t got played when I was five
Years old, just stay young, bold writing
Singing "Silent Night", caroling, reciting
Now all I want for Christmas is my indo wreath
I got my two front teeth
Uncle Eazy be the jeezy and just spread me a leaf
Little kids, don't cry
When you find out the Santa Claus is just a f*cking lie

[Eazy-E]
On the third day of Christmas, my homeboys gave to me
Three pounds of indo
Two birds of cocaine
And a A muthaf*ckin' K, b*tch

[Hook]
Eazy-E oh Eazy-E
Show us how you treat those b*tches

[Hook]
I saw mommy f*cking Eazy Claus

[Eazy-E]
Close the door, little b*tch
I'm getting these draws

[Hook]
I'm a tell my daddy if ya ass don't stop

[Eazy-E]
I don't give a f*ck
I'm getting Christmas cot
Ho ho ho and away I go

[Hook]
Oh Saint Nick's got a di*k like a pole

[Woman 1]
Well where's our sh*t?

[Woman 2]
This motherf*cker's cheap

[Eazy-E]
Shut the f*ck up, b*tches
And go back to sleep

[Verse 3: Will 1X]
Yo black, what you want for Christmas?
(Yo black, I want a job)
For my Christmas, all the f*cked up people
Want some corn-on-the-cob
A Jew will eat some matzoh ball soup, but a n*gga'll eat some
Chitlins, watermelon, corn bread and some Fruit Loops
Now who's caroling in my window
Smokin' up indo
Mechalecha hi, make a high note

[apl.de.ap]
Get out my f*cking yard with your camel
You wanna get busy and Santa like a..
I am a rhymer
The Atban Klann will make sh*t slam, it's Christmas time
The Simple Simon Christmas make me jam jam jam

[Will1X]
Yo black, what you want for Christmas?
Yo black, I want some cash
So I can buy some indo, chronic and some hash

[Atban Klann (Will1X & apl.de.ap)]
Yo, here comes the Atban Klann rough and rugged
A rump pa bum bum
A rump pa bum bum

[All (x10)]
Merry Muthaf*ckin' Christmas
Merry Muthaf*ckin' Christmas
Merry Muthaf*ckin' Christmas
And have a f*cked up new year

[Eazy-E]
You Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!!

[Mother]
And they all went to prison
And lived f*cked up lives ever after
The End