Breakdown

[Hook]
I might know now
But maybe a like year ago, i didn't know how
To express how I feel, gotta write it down
Right before I go numb with another breakdown
Tell me how to feel when I've been locked out
Not a soul in the world can relate to this sound
Least that's what I thought, 'til I looked and I found
That there's not really many of em left around

[Verse 1]
Nobody really knows what the fuck its about
Kneeling on the dirt cause I came from the ground
Sick of looking up just to be let down
Put a smile on my face, cause they question frowns
Sometimes my brain its a battleground
Lemme dance in the rain cause nobodies around
Pull out my hair, let out a shout
From the moment I exist to when I dance with the hounds

I find it hard just to be myself
A broken heart with a shattered shell
No end, no start, but I know that I fell
And the more that I do the less I feel well
Don't know what to do, unless you wanna tell
Its hard for me to move, Like I'm under a spell
I'm stuck here like glue, I can't even yell
Just can't find the words I think would compel

My social skills are still a mess
Perhaps that's why I'm losing friends
I've had my fill of pills again
I phone the doc, so no more left
I'm stiff like rocks, I drop the pen
The Oxycontin clouds my head
I'll just stop and get some rest
The aftershocks came back again

Cold in the snow, and I feel like a mystery
If I do go, who the fuck will be missing me?
Book me some shows, and on god I'll make history
Then I'll be forming a bond with these victories
Sin with me, don't give a fuck if an injury
Or death results, its my fault, I'm in misery
Don't call my phone, I won't talk, don't come sit with me
Bottled it up for too long, it got rid of me

Take what is left of me, don't need your empathy
Know you relate, cause you lost your identity too
Elephant in the room, I am cursed to my doom
What the fuck will I do with my legacy
Say you don't want me to lose, but you're letting me
Take just one walk in my shoes, but step steadily
Yes you might be right, I got suicidal tendencies
Spend another night tryna find my amenities

I should've known it was just a setup
Knock me down cause I don't wanna get up
And i know i should keep my head up
Think I'm 'bout to blow like Lil Tecca
Probably cause all the shit that is pent up
Knowing that I grew in a world that was fed up
But did nothing, I can't let up
Blood is pumping, but instead of

Yelling, i act so compelling
Dwelling in my storytelling
Fell by all the screaming, melting
Flesh, this is hell, there's no misspelling

No idea who I am as a person
All that I know is I'm gonna put the work in
Cursing, every over other fuckin' verse and
Transverse into many universes
The Percs turn me to a different person
On the surface, calm, but I'm nervous
No purpose, feelin' like a burden
It was bad, but now I think its worsened

[Hook]
I might know now
But maybe a like year ago, i didn't know how
To express how I feel, gotta write it down
Right before I go numb with another breakdown
Tell me how to feel when I've been locked out
Not a soul in the world can relate to this sound
Least that's what I thought, 'til I looked and I found
That there's not really many of em left around