The Computer Song

[Red Guy]
Oh, I guess it's my turn to choose a card. Let's see...
Hmm... "What is the biggest thing in the world?"

[Duck]
Hmm... that's a tricky one

[Yellow Guy]
A mountains... a sky... a windmill?

[Duck]
No!

[Red Guy]
If only there was a way to learn more about the world

[Duck]
Yes! If only there was some way to learn more information about this...

[Yellow Guy]
Wow, look!

[Verse 1: Computer]
I'm a computer, I'm a computery guy
Everything made out of buttons and wires
I'd like to show ya inside my digital life
Inside my mind there is a digital mind

[Red Guy]
Oh, maybe you could help us answer this question; "What is the biggest thing-"

[Verse 2: Computer]
Clever, I'm very clevery guy

[Yellow Guy]
Wow!

[Computer]
Count to a 50 in the blink of my eye
And print a picture, and then I tell you the time

[Duck]
Time?

[Computer]
Help you to find something you're wanting to find
No, it's easy to be a clever smart boy like me
If you could do it all digitally-yyyyyyyyyy!

[Yellow Guy]
Wow! I'd like to be as smart as a computer

[Red Guy]
Actually, we already have a computer

[Computer]
Great, great news!
Now, before we begin our journey
I just need to get some information from you!
What's your name?
Where do you live?
What do you like to eat?

[Duck]
I live in my house

[Yellow Guy]
Spaghetti!

[Red Guy]
Well, my name is-

[Computer]
Great news!
Now just a few more questions and we'll be on our way!

[Red Guy]
Wait a second...

[Computer]
What's your favorite color?

[Red Guy]
Stop talking

[Computer]
Do you like cows' or goats' milk?

[Red Guy]
Be quiet

[Computer]
Do you have brown hair?
What is your blood type?
Are you allergic to-

[Red Guy]
Shut up!

[Computer]
DON'T TOUCH MEEEEEEEEEE!

[Red Guy]
What?

[a mishmash of digital noise and screams occurs as several dark scenes flash]

[Verse 3: Computer]
Welcome to my digital home
Everything made out of numbers and code

[Yellow Guy]
Whuh?

[Duck]
Wow, we're all computery!

[Red Guy]
Oh yeah!
Wow!
Wow!
Wow!
This is a computer

[Yellow Guy]
I don't get it
How can it be
If I'm sitting at home when I'm inside the screen?

[Computer]
But you're not you!
You're your digital you!
Virtually real, but controlled by real you

[Duck]
But if he's not quite real, then I'm not real, too!
And your not real you is inside your real you!

[Red Guy]
Oh, wow, how amazing and interesting, too
But in this digital world, what can we do?
...what can we do?!

[Computer]
Hey, good question!
Well, it's up to you
In the digital world, there's only three things to do

[Yellow Guy]
Wow, look, a pie chart!

[Duck]
Digital style!

[Computer]
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Yellow Guy]
Wow, look, a bar graph!

[Duck]
Digital style!

[Computer]
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Yellow Guy]
Wow, look, a line graph!

[Duck]
Digital style!

[Computer]
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Yellow Guy]
Wow, look, an oblong!

[Duck]
Digital style!

[Computer]
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Yellow Guy]
Wow, look, nothing!

[Duck]
Digital style!

[Computer]
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Yellow Guy]
Nothing

[Duck]
Digital style!

[Computer]
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Yellow Guy]
Nothing

[Duck]
Digital style!

[Computer]
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Duck]
Caw!

[Computer]
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[the speed quickens up until it's a blur]

["real" recording]
Now you're stupid one
I am going to paint a picture of a clown
My dad has a computer
You are not invited to the party

[Red Guy]
Wait, what?

[his head pops]