Bamalam vs Bender

[Round 1: Bender]
Now I wasn't really expectin' anyone special Eurgh
I take this as a "f*ck you" givin' me this competitor
Well I heard you loud and clear so now I'm here to kill the messenger
And have Bamalam fam' searchin' through leads/Leeds like detective work
One thing goin' into this I was extra sure of
You're the most overrated motherf*cker no one's ever heard of
You should've stayed behind the scenes Bambi but we know you're type
A little b*tch that got sucked into the static, that's a Poltergeist
You know he likes to rap about his background to his best abilities
Said he's like 1/13th Ugandan like that affects his credibility
Walkin' up to these ciphers, thinkin' he can get down with these rappers
Villun looked him right in the face, said, "Get the f*ck outta here cracker."
Sonny I'ma see that green, you color blind, I'm much too bright
You rub your eyes like sun is risin' up above
And just ignites can't touch my shine
Shut your blinds, ultra violets f*ck up your sight a hundred times
Of what the sun provides, but f*ck it, that's just somethin' light
Hand me a demo I'm like, "Really Pat? Gimme that."
I toss your mixtape in the sh*tter, call me Skinny Black
Half expectin' a heckler to pull a Heckler and click it back
Put you out your f*ckin' misery, that's a pity clap
So this is me erasin' Bam's future
You blew your shot before you took it, that's a Flaming Sambuca
So you gettin' me today, I wouldn't be entertain' the thought
That's like Bowski hoppin' a fence tryin' to get away from the cops
I shape shift, take on a secondary form
One breath knocked your wind out the second air born
My whole squadron over your head like the 82nd Airborn
That's why you'll never be king like the second heir born

[Round 1: Bamalam]
You're like them little skits that roll deep and end
Yesterday you went to go meet my friends
Got beat come back and today you're gettin' beat again
But when it comes to battles, this is my toughest to date
Not because you're someone that's great
But thanks to Eurgh and Cruger I literally have nothing to say
If I had to start, I didn't even bring no battle bars
Just I ain't seen a Bender this big on stage since Allen Carr
I mean most rappers name themselves after the type of man they are
And yours suggest you pick up men when you're at the bar
See, Eurgh said, "Take these bars to use on Bender."
I said, "Bruv, our friendship ain't like you and Sensa."
I ain't losin', ain't no question who is better
When his delivery is worse than how Royal Mail tried to move my letters
See I don't think the Futurama name you chose is right
You're more closer to Fry
Cause you rap like someone who's been frozen in time
See you claim that alcoholism is a known condition
You should see the way this bloke be livin'
Drunk or sober he doesn't know the difference
He's at a friend's house, goes to kitchen
Rolls in, rolls out, claims it's prohibition when [?] start goin' missin'
[?] and drinks like Moe from Simpsons when Homer's with him
How does your missus deal with the way that you're livin'?
She must wake up every night and hears a break in the kitchen
Comes down to find you in a state cause you're drinkin'
Attemptin' to make a late night plate full of chicken
"Bender, let's go to bed." But that ain't what she's thinkin'
Cause your size and shape keep changin' and switchin'
See, you can no longer f*ck in your favorite positions
Looks like it's not just you who deals with the weight of addiction
You got that troubled artist vibe
You rap like you're livin' but your heart is dyin'
You spend half your time tellin' people they'll appreciate your art when you pass this life
See you do portraits of famous people when you grab a painting brush
And make a livin' off celebs more than a talent agent does
That's fake as f*ck
Let me break it up
You're the same as YouTubers who do cover songs to try to make a bust
See if you're claimin' you're an artist then and your rap is like your paintin', I think I'll pass with them
I mean imagine, he clutches the brush
He's got half a face like Harvey Dent and f*cks it all up
Crosses it out and has to start again
Is you comin' off the top? You get sliced in seconds
Mind in segments
I'm like when silent enters and their life has ended
And the artist paintin' his own death like Isaac Mendez
Yo, I'll put this vet in the grave
You get deaded today and after this battle no one will remember your face
But that's another soldier gone after Remembrance Day

[Round 2: Bender]
This competition's been basic
While I make my rhymes too cerebral
I feel like Michael Cera in This Is The End, I'm just wastin' lines on you people
Big Ben', I'll clean your clock out, you are not prepared
I'll take your face off if your hands are slow, that's watch repair
I know a lot in here would like to see him duffed out in person
But that could threaten the event and this young sprout ain't worth it
His last name is Watts, I'm thinkin, "Son how that's perfect."
Let me run down just how this works
If my hand made contact with Watts I'd probably catch a charge
And if that line gets crossed it can shut down the circuit
Your wins have been controversial, anyone he's faced would agree
You call 'em "close calls"? Those robberies all seem (Cee) Major to me
I had Cee takin' all three
But you messed up on purpose, I bet that you did
Sayin' you planned the choke, my team invented that sh*t!
I said that your chick should host these events, I seen footage that sl*ts done
f*cked out of her brains in a room full of dudes on tape more than Lush One
That ratchet's got you gassed if you thinkin' that you rap nice
I think that Peter Parker may have got bit by some radioactive crab lice
Last night, went to her office, she was lookin' kinda cute
Said that she'd give me a peep show, we went to a private room
Shameless, got in-between her, sh*t, what was I to do?
She's suckin' artichoke through a garden hose, now that's a Mighty fine Boosh
Tie this noose, put this video up, call it "Faggot [?] Gets Bodied"
Or call it whatever you want, I don't really care about the title like Shotty
Bring me any Don't Flop rapper, I chop off all of their heads
And tell Eliza Doolittle I'm the monster on top of the bed
Now let's get this clear...
....Naw that's not a choke, a moment of silence for Bam's career

[Round 3: Bender]
You tryin' to push an album on your looks and talent? That couldn't happen
You look like Woody Allen if he was hooked on Valium and you're about as half as good at rappin'
Butt boy you'se a f*ck toy for Urkel's personal army
You should've stuck behind Cam' like the conservative party
Now let's do this slow
It's not the links you traveled
It's not how connected you are, it's the bars you bring to battles
This platform's great to push your music Bam', it's a thing of value
But don't be thinkin' you're a star cause your tracks link in the English Channel
Yo, you gettin' mangled, I'm Jason Vorhees drinkin' virgin blood in a pagan orgy
Break a 40 bottle across your face and make you say you're sorry
A ragin' war beast, goin' out in a blaze of glory
Climbin' 80 stories up to [?] while planes are aimin' for me
My brain's on warpspeed
I got f*cked up head problems like Hunter S. Thompson when he stuck his best shotgun [?]
Half monster, half Mossberg, sawed off if you get me ain't no saw dust
Knock this sod off this bear will maul you like a grizzly
sh*t, I had the weapon storage locked before I stepped on board the chopper
My sh*t's sweet like Twin Peaks, you gettin' Laura Palmer'ed
No metaphor, I metamorph to a 20 story monster
If you think he's real he might deserve a best performance opera
He must deserve a best performance Oscar
This is Robert Oppenheimer sh*t, you ain't ready for this slaughter
I got hate for your mother, I got resent towards your father
I wish they spent the 40 dollars on the French abortion doctor, Henry Morgantaler so you were never born at all
I call it death before dishonor!