So Dumb (Homer's Lament)
By Dan Castellaneta (2002)
On album I Am Not Homer (2002)
Go back to your search "So Lisa Lisa is at your place wait a minute wait a minute what's the problem"
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Curt:
All right, Homer, studio's all yours.
Homer:
Thanks, Curt.
(Cymbals are heard crashing)
Grampa:
Why did you take me out of the home? What is this place?
Homer:
It's a recording studio, Dad. I want you to sing on my record.
Groundskeeper Willie:
Don't play with those!
Barney:
I'm not playin', I fell backwards.
Groundskeeper Willie:
Oh, sorry.
Barney:
Uh-oh, some rock musician puked in here last night!
Grampa:
Ewww!
Groundskeeper Willie:
I'm not cleanin' it up.
Barney:
(Sniffs) Wait, it's mine.
Homer:
Barney!
Krusty:
Hey, what's goin' on here?
Homer:
Oh, hi, Krusty. We're laying in the background vocals of my hit song.
Krusty:
Hey, I'm s'posed to have this studio to record my new doll, Talking Krusty.
Homer:
Oh, I'm sorry, Krusty, but we do have the studio from 8:05 to 8:10.
Groundskeeper Willie:
That's right, clown.
Krusty:
All right. I'm gonna be across the street banking a few business transactions and I'll be back. And once I'm here, you're outta here.
Homer:
Okay, we better hurry up, guys. Now, let's hear your parts.
(Everyone sings in imperfect harmony)
Homer:
Good... good... all right, well, when I put a reverb on it, it'll sound great. Hey, Barney, what are you doin'?
Barney:
Settin' up my tape recorder.
Homer:
What for?
Barney:
I'm gonna record this session.
Homer:
What?
Barney:
Yeah, I'm gonna bootleg the record.
Groundskeeper Willie:
Bootleg?
Homer:
No bootlegging!
Barney:
But-
Homer:
Turn it off!
Barney:
But, Ho-
Homer:
Turn it off!
Barney:
All right.
Homer:
All right, now. I'm gonna go in the booth and when you guys hear the bass dealey, you start singing.
Barney:
Okay, Homer.
Groundskeeper Willie:
All right, I understand.
Grampa:
What're we supposed to do?
Groundskeeper Willie:
Quiet.
Homer:
Okay, where's it? Oh, here it is. This is "So Dumb: Background Vocals, Take One."
(Bass plays and the boys start to sing)
Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
Ah...
Ah...
Homer:
The nuclear plant
Is the reason I can't
Make a baby with Marge anymore.
The reason I'm fat,
So they tell me, is that
I eat eight meals instead of just four.
Old because my children
Are loud and burdensome.
But somehow my brain's
At a loss to explain
The reason I've gotten so dumb.
Maybe it's beer
Ev'ry day of the year
That is killing the cells in my brain.
Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
Ooh-wah-ah
Homer:
And if that is true,
Then what else can I do
If it's beer that is really to blame?
Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
Ooh-wah-ah
Homer:
I have to stop beer drinking
And switch to gin or rum.
But if I'm to choose,
Forget brains! I'll take booze!
Tell me how have I gotten...
Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
So dumb!
Grampa:
Don't be so glum
About being dumb.
Homer:
My father told me once.
Grampa:
Son, it's okay,
Go out and play
With all the other runts.
You are just fine.
I really don't mind
All your stupid stunts.
Just wear a hat,
Your pointy hat
Indicating you're a dunce!
(Grampa, Barney and Willie vocalize)
Homer:
I am so stupid!...I said, "I am so stupid!"...You're supposed to say, "How stupid am I?"...I'll wait... Did you say, "How stupid are you?"...I am so stupid that if I ever had a... Whenever I would...D'OH!
I have to say, "D'oh!"
'Cause I really don't know
Who my congressman is to this day.
Hate that it's sad,
But, hey, it's not so bad,
'Cause I really don't vote anyway.
I can't think of the lyrics.
I guess I'll have to hum.
La da dee da da da
I forgot to wear pants
Tell me da da da dee dee...
Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
So dumb!
Homer:
My kids are all smart,
Maggie, Lisa and Bart
And the dog and the cat laugh at me.
Well, they really don't laugh.
I just made that part up.
So forget what I said. Nevermind.
Now what was I just singing?
I know it rhymes with "dumb".
Was it crumb, was it bum,
Or about bubblegum?
I forgot. Now sometimes I'm...
Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
So dumb!
Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
Eat donuts, eat donuts,
Eat donuts, eat donuts, etc.
La, la la, la, la, la
La, la la, la la, etc.
Krusty:
All right, I'm back from the entre letting place. Are you finished?
Homer:
I'm almost finished, Krusty. Gonna fade out right here.
Krusty:
Well, hurry up, I haven't got all day!
Homer:
(Trying to get Willie, Grampa and Barney's attentions) Okay, guys, that's enough! Wait a minute! How come they can't hear me?
Krusty:
Press the talkback button.
Homer:
Which one is it?
Krusty:
Do I look like an engineer?
Homer:
I'll try this one. Guys, guys!
Krusty:
Try that button.
Homer:
Guys! Guys, can you hear me? How about this button?
Krusty:
No, that's not workin', they can't hear ya. Hey! Hello!
Homer:
What does this knob do?
Krusty:
You mean the one that says, "Don't Touch"?! Don't touch it!
(Too late because the tape starts speeding up)
Homer:
What happens if I do? It-Wait a minute! Stop it! Stop the tape machine!
Krusty:
I dunno how to stop it!
Homer:
It's eating up the tape! Oh!
(Willie, Grampa, and Barney are still singing)
Guys... Guys! I just ruined the tape!
Barney:
Homer's wavin' at us! What is it, Homer? Quiet, guys!
Groundskeeper Willie:
Quiet, guys! Shut it!
(They stop singing)
Grampa:
What th-?
Barney:
What's wrong, Homer?
Grampa:
What's going on?
Groundskeeper Willie:
What's wrong?
Homer:
Oh, Barney, I ruined the tape. (everyone groans) The machine ate up all the tape.
Groundskeeper Willie:
Well, that's it for me.
Barney:
Don't worry, Homer.
Grampa:
I could've been home watching Matlock.
Homer:
Why?
Barney:
Cause I never turned off my tape recorder. I have it all on my own tape recorder!
Groundskeeper Willie:
Ach! He's right!
Homer:
Oh, Barney, thank goodness for you!
Groundskeeper Willie:
Thank goodness for you!
Homer:
Sometimes I'm so dumb!
Grampa:
You got that right!
Barney:
Aw, Homer, you're not dumb. You wrote the song, didn't ya?
Homer:
Yeah.
Barney:
And you got a record company to release it.
Groundskeeper Willie:
That's right.
Homer:
Hey, you're right.
Barney:
And you're gonna get a lot of royalties from it.
Homer:
Royalties?
Barney:
You know, money. Homer?
(Pause)
Homer:
D'ooh!
Grampa:
I'm gonna take a nap.
All right, Homer, studio's all yours.
Homer:
Thanks, Curt.
(Cymbals are heard crashing)
Grampa:
Why did you take me out of the home? What is this place?
Homer:
It's a recording studio, Dad. I want you to sing on my record.
Groundskeeper Willie:
Don't play with those!
Barney:
I'm not playin', I fell backwards.
Groundskeeper Willie:
Oh, sorry.
Barney:
Uh-oh, some rock musician puked in here last night!
Grampa:
Ewww!
Groundskeeper Willie:
I'm not cleanin' it up.
Barney:
(Sniffs) Wait, it's mine.
Homer:
Barney!
Krusty:
Hey, what's goin' on here?
Homer:
Oh, hi, Krusty. We're laying in the background vocals of my hit song.
Krusty:
Hey, I'm s'posed to have this studio to record my new doll, Talking Krusty.
Homer:
Oh, I'm sorry, Krusty, but we do have the studio from 8:05 to 8:10.
Groundskeeper Willie:
That's right, clown.
Krusty:
All right. I'm gonna be across the street banking a few business transactions and I'll be back. And once I'm here, you're outta here.
Homer:
Okay, we better hurry up, guys. Now, let's hear your parts.
(Everyone sings in imperfect harmony)
Homer:
Good... good... all right, well, when I put a reverb on it, it'll sound great. Hey, Barney, what are you doin'?
Barney:
Settin' up my tape recorder.
Homer:
What for?
Barney:
I'm gonna record this session.
Homer:
What?
Barney:
Yeah, I'm gonna bootleg the record.
Groundskeeper Willie:
Bootleg?
Homer:
No bootlegging!
Barney:
But-
Homer:
Turn it off!
Barney:
But, Ho-
Homer:
Turn it off!
Barney:
All right.
Homer:
All right, now. I'm gonna go in the booth and when you guys hear the bass dealey, you start singing.
Barney:
Okay, Homer.
Groundskeeper Willie:
All right, I understand.
Grampa:
What're we supposed to do?
Groundskeeper Willie:
Quiet.
Homer:
Okay, where's it? Oh, here it is. This is "So Dumb: Background Vocals, Take One."
(Bass plays and the boys start to sing)
Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
Ah...
Ah...
Homer:
The nuclear plant
Is the reason I can't
Make a baby with Marge anymore.
The reason I'm fat,
So they tell me, is that
I eat eight meals instead of just four.
Old because my children
Are loud and burdensome.
But somehow my brain's
At a loss to explain
The reason I've gotten so dumb.
Maybe it's beer
Ev'ry day of the year
That is killing the cells in my brain.
Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
Ooh-wah-ah
Homer:
And if that is true,
Then what else can I do
If it's beer that is really to blame?
Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
Ooh-wah-ah
Homer:
I have to stop beer drinking
And switch to gin or rum.
But if I'm to choose,
Forget brains! I'll take booze!
Tell me how have I gotten...
Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
So dumb!
Grampa:
Don't be so glum
About being dumb.
Homer:
My father told me once.
Grampa:
Son, it's okay,
Go out and play
With all the other runts.
You are just fine.
I really don't mind
All your stupid stunts.
Just wear a hat,
Your pointy hat
Indicating you're a dunce!
(Grampa, Barney and Willie vocalize)
Homer:
I am so stupid!...I said, "I am so stupid!"...You're supposed to say, "How stupid am I?"...I'll wait... Did you say, "How stupid are you?"...I am so stupid that if I ever had a... Whenever I would...D'OH!
I have to say, "D'oh!"
'Cause I really don't know
Who my congressman is to this day.
Hate that it's sad,
But, hey, it's not so bad,
'Cause I really don't vote anyway.
I can't think of the lyrics.
I guess I'll have to hum.
La da dee da da da
I forgot to wear pants
Tell me da da da dee dee...
Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
So dumb!
Homer:
My kids are all smart,
Maggie, Lisa and Bart
And the dog and the cat laugh at me.
Well, they really don't laugh.
I just made that part up.
So forget what I said. Nevermind.
Now what was I just singing?
I know it rhymes with "dumb".
Was it crumb, was it bum,
Or about bubblegum?
I forgot. Now sometimes I'm...
Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
So dumb!
Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
Eat donuts, eat donuts,
Eat donuts, eat donuts, etc.
La, la la, la, la, la
La, la la, la la, etc.
Krusty:
All right, I'm back from the entre letting place. Are you finished?
Homer:
I'm almost finished, Krusty. Gonna fade out right here.
Krusty:
Well, hurry up, I haven't got all day!
Homer:
(Trying to get Willie, Grampa and Barney's attentions) Okay, guys, that's enough! Wait a minute! How come they can't hear me?
Krusty:
Press the talkback button.
Homer:
Which one is it?
Krusty:
Do I look like an engineer?
Homer:
I'll try this one. Guys, guys!
Krusty:
Try that button.
Homer:
Guys! Guys, can you hear me? How about this button?
Krusty:
No, that's not workin', they can't hear ya. Hey! Hello!
Homer:
What does this knob do?
Krusty:
You mean the one that says, "Don't Touch"?! Don't touch it!
(Too late because the tape starts speeding up)
Homer:
What happens if I do? It-Wait a minute! Stop it! Stop the tape machine!
Krusty:
I dunno how to stop it!
Homer:
It's eating up the tape! Oh!
(Willie, Grampa, and Barney are still singing)
Guys... Guys! I just ruined the tape!
Barney:
Homer's wavin' at us! What is it, Homer? Quiet, guys!
Groundskeeper Willie:
Quiet, guys! Shut it!
(They stop singing)
Grampa:
What th-?
Barney:
What's wrong, Homer?
Grampa:
What's going on?
Groundskeeper Willie:
What's wrong?
Homer:
Oh, Barney, I ruined the tape. (everyone groans) The machine ate up all the tape.
Groundskeeper Willie:
Well, that's it for me.
Barney:
Don't worry, Homer.
Grampa:
I could've been home watching Matlock.
Homer:
Why?
Barney:
Cause I never turned off my tape recorder. I have it all on my own tape recorder!
Groundskeeper Willie:
Ach! He's right!
Homer:
Oh, Barney, thank goodness for you!
Groundskeeper Willie:
Thank goodness for you!
Homer:
Sometimes I'm so dumb!
Grampa:
You got that right!
Barney:
Aw, Homer, you're not dumb. You wrote the song, didn't ya?
Homer:
Yeah.
Barney:
And you got a record company to release it.
Groundskeeper Willie:
That's right.
Homer:
Hey, you're right.
Barney:
And you're gonna get a lot of royalties from it.
Homer:
Royalties?
Barney:
You know, money. Homer?
(Pause)
Homer:
D'ooh!
Grampa:
I'm gonna take a nap.
Go back to your search "So Lisa Lisa is at your place wait a minute wait a minute what's the problem"
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