Birth Hoedown

Thank goodness for my mom that I was made
It was 27 years ago that my dad got laid
That's right, you see, upon closer inspection
I'm standing here 'cause she didn't use protection

When a woman gives birth her man is filled with pride
All through the delivery he stands right by her side
But nine times out of ten she'll say to him "You jerk!"
You got to do the fun part and now I do all the work!

Ellen is my wife, the other day she gave birth
It was the most beautiful thing on this God's Earth
When I saw her do it, I said "Oh my God, dear Ellen!"
Looking from this angle looks like a straw passing a melon

I came out of my mother at exactly ten to five
Everyone screamed and ran and yelled "It's alive!"
I can't really blame them, I guess it was kinda scary
Everyone tells me that I resembled Drew Carey

Resembled Drew Carey!