Good Thing SHE Can't Read My Mind: A Dude's Eye View

A dude's-eye view

I am at a shopping mall
I do not like shopping malls
but she loves shopping malls
and I love her
each time she stops to look at shoes
I'm reacquainted with the blues
by the groans I hear
there are men here
who I think concur

I wanted to stay home today
to watch the Green Bay Packers play
A monumental pigskin contest
of the manly kind
instead I'm at a shopping mall
I can't stand shopping malls
it's a good thing she can't read my mind

Sure I'll hold your purse while you try that on
No, I don't think it makes you look f . . .

I am at a craft fair
I do not like craft fairs
but she loves craft fairs
and I love her
there's topiary, origami
face painting, scrapbooking
and her favorite . . .
dreamcatchers!
what the hell's a dreamcatcher?
what the hell is decoupage?
rug hooking?
now that's something I might get behind
I can't stand craft fairs
I am at a craft fair
It's a good thing she can't read my mind

Learn to make my own soap?
how did you know that's been my dream?

I am not complaining I'm just making observations
expanding your horizons is a sign of sophistication
I'm in a tai chi class every Sunday morning
though sometimes thoughts of boxing
overcome me without warning

I am at a chick flick
I do not like chick flicks
but she loves chick flicks
and I love her
Uh-oh it's a double bill
now I'm really feeling ill
it's "Beaches" followed by "The Way We Were"

now I'm in an awful mood
plus I'm eating awful food
when all I wanted was to kick back and unwind
I can't stand chick flicks
I'm gonna watch two chick flicks
it's a good thing she can't read my mind

Tomorrow night is "Fried Green Tomatoes" and "Terms Of Endearment"?
oh . . . pinch me . . .

So if you see me at a chick flick
see me in a craft booth
see me at a shopping mall wallowing in despair
don't feel sorry for me
I must be in love
why in the hell else would I be there?

Before I met her life was dull
I never took any chances
now I leap at every opportunity I find
I do not like chick flicks
I don't like craft fairs can't stand shopping
but maybe I will in time
maybe I will in time

join your book club?
Oh sure, I'd love to . . .