Death to False Techno

[male singer]
I could be a fucking believer
You could be my fucking god
I will be the fucking prophet
Write the one true word of god

I will go into the mountains
I will fast for forty days
I will open up my mind
And I will write the words you say

You will break my fucking teeth
You will scratch my virgin flesh
In a sea of rotting meat
I will know the voice of god

Get your fuck on
Everybody in the club, get your fuck on
Get your fuck on, get your fuck on
Everybody in the club, get your fuck on

[female singer]
We don't need your message
We don't need your lies
'Cause there is only one true god
And it's the beat the beat the beat the beat the beat

You have broken the law, broken the law
You will pay for your crime, pay for your crime
We have spoken to god, spoken to god
We will put you to death, put you to death

Crucify him! Crucify him!
[multiple females voices chanting]:
Crucify him! [x20]

[deeper male voice, speaking over the chanting]
And so, the frightened people of the city of Techno sentenced the false prophet to death, and there was much rejoicing throughout the land. Everywhere could be heard the jubilant sounds of techno!

[multiple singers]
Uh-oh, here we go
Get down on the fucking floor
Shake your body like a whore
Fuck 'til you can't fuck no more
[x4]

[variations on the above lines, repeated many times to instrumental break]

[male voice, during the above]
Hardcore!

[instrumental break]


[spoken, male voice]
Uh, ok, uh, everybody welcome to the stage our next performer, Mr. Captain Ahab!

[Captain Ahab, spoken as slam poetry]
I am alive
I am a man
I am the oldest man alive
I have been alive forever
I sit atop my mountain stronghold
And I look down at the other men at my feet
And I laugh
I laugh at you
You, the lesser men
You, whose lives flicker by me like a cloud of gnats
You are born and die as I open and close my eyes to blink
I watched as my slaves built for me the pyramids
I spoke the words as they were carved onto the Rosetta Stone
I watched as Rome burned, as Pompeii was crushed, and as the twin towers fell
I have always been, and I will always be
You may see me, though you will not know me
You may see me at the club
You may see me on the street
You will be dazzled by my golden chains
By my spinning wheels
By my shining clothes
I have the biggest hat in the world
It's got a million diamonds hanging from its brim
Its been dyed a color that no painter has ever been able to mix
And it could shade all the starving children of the world at the same time
I live in the biggest house in the world
It's the size of a hundred cities
I can sleep in a different room each night
And my bedspread is woven from the hairs of queens

[lyrics continue directly to "I Don't Have a Dick"]