Gordon Lightfoot Does Maggie May

"I call this... IF Gordon Lightfoot's favourite singer were Rod Stewart. There are many IFs that preface this scenario. IF you were walking through Rosedale past Gordon's huge pretentious mansion, and IF the window were open about this wide, and IF Gordon had just been listening to the stereo, and IF on the stereo had been a disc of his favourite artist, and IF that artist were Rod Stewart, and IF he had been inspired by the listening, you might hear something that sounded vaguely like this... only IF Gordon Lightfoot's favourite singer were Rod Stewart."

Ah, wake up Maggie,
I think I got something to say to you.
It's late September.
And I really should be back in school
Or find myself a rock-and-roll band,
That needs a helping hand.
Oh, Maggie, I wish I'd never seen your face.
You made a first class fool out of me,
Now I'm as blind as a boy can be,
Oh, Maggie, I wish I'd never... ah, seen your face...