Jackass in a Can

[Squire 1]
Well, another party for the fancy folk that get to bathe once a month. Oh, that reminds me: Did you hear about the knight that got off his high horse?

[Galavant]
No

[Squire 1]
Me neither!

[Squire 2]
Knights suck

[Galavant]
They're not all that bad are they?

[Squire 3]
Sure, they are

[Squire 4]
Worse even

[Squire 4]
Your average knight in armor, he's utterly the pits

[Squire 3]
His ego's so humungous, his helmet barely fits

[Squire 4]
He wears two tons of padding and thinks he's quite the man

[Squire 2]
He's nothing but a jackass in a fancy metal can

[All Squires]
A jackass in a can
There's nothing worser than
Some high and mighty jackass in a can
(All spit in their cups)

[Squire 1]
(spoken)
My master hasn't had a sip of his port without my spit in it in years. I got him cravin' it now. I gave him two months without it, he said it didn't taste right

[Squire 2]
So, what about your knight? Is he as bad as ours?

[Galavant]
Uh, yeah, sure
There's all that fame and glory

[Squire 1]
The smell, though? Not so great

[Galavant]
And then those big, long lances

[Squire 3]
Yeah, to overcompensate

[Galavant]
The glamor and swagger

[Squire 1]
Yeah, I'm not really a fan

[Galavant]
He's quite--

[Squire 2]
A major dillweed?

[Galavant]
In a fancy metal can

[Squires and Galavant]
A dillweed in a can
There's nothing lamer than
A condescending dillweed in a can

[Squire 1]
And who does all the planning

[Squire 2]
Yeah, and who does all the work

[Galavant]
True

[Squire 4]
Who gets no vacation

[Squire 3]
Not one pay raise, not one perk

[Galavant]
Good point

[Squire 2]
Whose third rate insurance comes without a dental plan

[Galavant]
Your average, humble squire

[All]
And not the meathead in the can
That j*rkface in a can
There's nothing sadder than

[Galavant]
Some over muscled, chauvinistic
Self indulgent, egotistic
Stingy, prissy, narcississy

[All]
Jackass in a can!

[Galavant]
Oh, my God. That's me