Fear

(Verse 1)

My main purpose painfully nervous now I am scared/
People playing with my nerves its hurts as I began to wear/
I'm always trinna internalize, maybe that's why my insides divide/
I only mess it up when I try my best/
Why am I the one who messed up your life?/
Old emotions old notions old thoughts/
Cold and frozen were all the talks/
Sitting at the table wasn't stable/
Hands were shaking wasn't able/
To defend something that I never claim/
I always wondered what you were trinna gain?/

I think about the future me/
I think about if he's proud of me/
Or proud the way I been acting maybe he looks down at me/
I admit I'm cowardly I'm only brave when I begin to write/
What will I say when I fail my wife/
God I pray you hold me tonight/
I scared I'm the only one is going up against my own life/
I'm scared I'll turn away from God and be dependent on my sight/
But God I know you are God/
God I know that I am yours/
I pray tonight that I never stop/
Until I die and you bring me home/

(Bridge)

Throat starts to squeeze/
As I call on my savior/
Will I call on fear again/
For another favor/
Will I stand in front of the master/
As just another traitor/
So many things to factor/
Before I go to meet my maker/

I cannot begin to fathom/
What awaits on the other side/
Maybe because a part of fear/
Is still inside my mind/
Has the battle just begun/
How long until the day I find/
Out the this wars been won/
I feel like fear is still inside!/

(Chorus)

I know this life is hard/
And having fear is understandable/
But I have to put my trust/
In God and understand that he'll/
Bring me through this life/
Even though this life is not easy/
I cannot rob God of his glory/
And use it to please me/

What happened to the joy and laughter/
Why do I destroy what matters/
Why is it that pain always has to be more of a factor/
I am a rapper/
Trying to factor/
The before and the after/
The first and the latter/
I am a product of my own disaster/
Will I ever move on from this chapter?!/

(Verse 2)

Hold up hold up wait a minute - slow it down/
I need take a breath take a sec to calm it down/
Is this hurt or is it passion?/
Honesty probably both/
I have passion to get past this because I know wanna grow/
Well never win tomorrow unless we remember the loss of yesterday/
The cost of it is sorrow but God I know your next to me/
I was told that you thought i used you/
I promise it's not true/
I promise i thought you/
Were okay I guess i just thought you/

And I were in sync but I guess my assumptions brought you/
To a place that was not intended so I'm sorry that it cost you/
Fear is now in my mind/
I feel like I am now fighting blind/
Why am I always the guy/
Who triples his problems and cripples his eyes/
I apologize to those I have hurt/
My problem lies within my words/
Sin I will fight until die and my casket closes into buried dirt/
I pray my life honored Christ and I learn how not to carry hurt/
I just pray my life honored Christ and I learn how not to carry hurt/

(Bridge)

God please take the fear away/
Or please take my life today/
God please I know I'm in pain/
I pray you see beyond my mistake/
I know I am the least of these/
Please cleanse me from my misdeeds/
I know You know all of my needs/
Because you are the king kings/

I cannot begin to fathom/
What awaits on the other side/
Maybe because apart of fear/
Is still inside my mind/
Has the battle just begun/
How long until the day I find/
Out the this wars been won/
I feel like fear is still inside!/

(Chorus)

I know this life is hard/
And having fear is understandable/
But I have to put my trust/
In God and understand that he'll/
Bring me through this life/
Even though this life is not easy/
I cannot rob God of his glory/
And use it to please me/

What happened to the joy and laughter/
Why do I destroy what matters/
Why is it that pain always has to be more of a factor/
I am a rapper/
Trying to factor/
The before and the after/
The first and the latter/
Am i a product of my own disaster/
Will ever move on from this chapter?!/
(AAH!)

(Verse 3)

You cannot put a price on someone's innocence/
Torment can be powerful I mean for instance/
I have alotta fears - I really fear loneliness/
Last year I was probably as lonely as lonely gets/
I'm scared that one day I'll wake up without a life/
And consequences will finally come back to bite/
The fact is I am trying to learn to get past this I/
Wanna settle down, marry, and live a happy life/

Success is not final and fear is not fatality/
The courage to continue is what counts in this reality/
But I know fear is nothing more than state of mind/
Will I conquer or be conquered I really hate that I/
Might go in between the two until the day I die/
But please lemme say that I just wanna do my part/
I can't wait to get a wife cause I know from the start/
If life is a deck of cards she will be queen of hearts/

(Chorus x2)

I know this life is hard/
And having fear is understandable/
But I have to put my trust/
In God and understand that he'll/
Bring me through this life/
Even though this life is not easy/
I cannot rob God of his glory/
And use it to please me/

What happened to the joy and laughter/
Why do I destroy what matters/
Why is it that pain always has to be more of a factor/
I am a rapper/
Trying to factor/
The before and the after/
The first and the latter/
Am i a product of my own disaster/
Will ever move on from this chapter?!/
(AAH!)