The Job Seeker

Intro:
"So we still catchin' a drink after? Alright how many more have we got, we got one more? What's his name? His name is fucking Sheldon Elvin? That's his name? His real name? Alright what is he fucking twenty minutes late, fuck sake, alright send him in."

"Alright Sheldon, Shelly! Shelly, Sheldo' how are ya mate?"
"Ugh, I'm here for the job interview, and your office smells like eggs, can you smoke in here? What do youse do here?"
"So uh, Sheldon, Sheldon, Sheldon, Shelly, just uh give me a couple of reasons you reckon you're alright for the job..."

SONG STARTS:
I'm outside the box and sound like a fox, POW POW POW POW, wow I'm a boss, I bounce right across the cross, the crowd like lacrosse, you found like a cross, ? moss you're burnt down

Burnt to smithereens, I turn a river red with murks and limousines, alert the mini-me's, I'm hurting women's knees, I'm spelling out death, but first I give 'em D

Titties bleed when my crew ride through, when they chopsticks, they ain't gotta chew Thai food, if you do die, what you gonna do my dude, gonna tell God, we don't like dudes like you

Haiku's in my tin spaghetti, I'm tinder ready, but I better keep my finger steady, because if I swipe right now, she might think I'm petty, if we meet then she better give my ? to heady

I'm the Yeti of the day sayin' they ain't see me, just a myth with a dick and a great CD, if we ever do root they you'll maybe bleed, it's like watching Planet of The Apes 3D, YOOOO

You wouldn't remember though, get hate mail 'cause I'm pushing the envelope, there's no way you could cushion the bender blow, hook 'em so splendid it took 'em to Bendigo, whoo

When I woke my hands were covered in blood, damn it fucking a fuck, man I'm stuck in a rut, might as well go jam my nut in a slut, slam and just slam 'til I jam it stuck in her gut

Yeh, what a romantic, my name's Ivan, wanna go camping? Wanna throw prams in a bottle-o's can bin? Wanna mix death with erotic slow dancing?

I'm a man of mystery, at the zoo with a random chick with me, damn it Tiffany, hand the bricks to me, bitch I just wanna make panda's history

If I need to go to court I'll go in a robe and sport my yoga shorts, and snort coke off some homeless whores, I only bought to show support, coz I broke the law and groped a Porsche

Give the Trojan horse's back, ready to explode the sauce on her frozen corpse, I'm the type that you won't divorce, you're all over me like my scrotum warts, well I hope they're warts

I don't know no more, I get these rage fits and wake up in a place full of raped kids, I hate kids, hate puppies and hate fish, I hate happiness, hate rappers and hate this

Outro:
"So do I get the job?"
"Linda call security."