On album Squeeze Box - The Complete Works Of "Weird Al" Yankovic (2017), Polka Party (1986)
…heard a familiar voice. And you know what it said? I'll tell ya what it said! It said, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang…
…up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator. If you'd like to make a call, please hang up…
…pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said, "Woah! Hold on now, baby! I'm just…
On album For Your Pain & Suffering
Ricky: I'm on my way to the studio! Mom: The studio? Ricky: I'll do it later! Mom: Ay, estudio Ricky: Love you! Mom: Love me? If you…
…loved me you would listen to me, ok? If you loved me you would do the dishes. That's love, dishes, soap. Helping me out…
…you get home, I don't wanna hear no more sh*t ok? Ricky: I'm on my way to the studio. Yo Los! what up pop? I ain't seen you…
On album No More Announcements (2018)
NIGGA DID YOU THOUGHT I OUTTA BE WAKANDA NIGGA DID YOU THOUGHT IT MAKE ME BE And Mama named me Evan made the fucking beat he made…
…with sick flows I got that shit I'm positi- That's over they heads it's ok You need a bag for this rap crash we in And he ain't saved…
…this henn to the face or some Grab a Swooty by the waist or summ I ain't the type you can replace wit nothing Is you saying something If speaking on me…
On album Space for Love (2018), The Beautiful Experience (1994), Face Down (1998)
…(goldnigga) ('cause we damn skippy right) And if u don't love me then your sister will (gold) Now let me hear u sing damn it! Oh, oh…
…wanna do u till I spend the time 2 school u On the fine art of romance U got 2 know how 2 make love 2 me, below and above me…
In the back of my bmw "z" The bang bang boogie, u will give it 2 me 'cause johnny will make u dance (can we bring it up? ) Oh, oh, oh…
On album Peach (Act 2 August Ten 1993) (1993), Gold Nigga (2016)
…(Goldnigga) ('cause we damn skippy right) And if U don't love me then your sister will (Gold) Now let me hear U sing damn it! Oh, oh…
…can't U understand? I'm only fantasizing 'cause your love is tantalizing And it's got me burning rubber in my pants But I don't wanna…
…do U till I spend the time 2 school U On the fine art of romance U got 2 know how 2 make love 2 me, below and above me…
On album The Rest Is History (2004)
…but hey, no pain no gain I runnin' red lights to make sure they have hot lo mein This ain't dominos... 30 minutes or less You should be impressed if…
…let me take this order real quick [Jin]Hello, house of china how can I help you sir? [Man on phone]Yeah I want to order me ah…
…spare ribs... and ah... give me a quarter of friedrice [Jin]Ok, would you like to try today's special sir? [Man…
…Make a fly boy fly to the moon like ET Big boy want to come test me, big batty gyal want neck me She said that she's hungry, I…
…to run up in MTV, like "Yo, wah gwan, where your funds at?" If you want a 16 bar for the [?], best empty your safe…
…to be known in the ends for renting a car, I want to own me a Benz In my CLA, listening to Coldplay, knowing that everything's OK So I get it in, then I get…
On album As Cruel as School Children (2006)
We put the "F-U" back in fun Serve it up with a smile You ain't heard this type of stuff in a while I want your ears right now…
…takin' over this year I feel like dancin' baby hold my fears (So Sexy) And it's ok to be a little risky (ooooh, Ah the Good Times…
…with "Teddy Ruxpin" and a Slayer tape And it's ok to be a little risky (ooooh, Ah the Good Times) Forget work it's all play…
On album Opps Next Door Vol.1 (2017)
…with this likkle nigga Manaman ah piss on an old fool Manaman ah diss up your whole crew So what if you done shows in '02? Me…
…jailhouse for a tool, it don't make me a gangster None of that shit ain't cool, but You ain't a gangster, don't know what you man…
…my sword like Conan Not that Konan, barbarian Conan You ain't sick, that's my G that you're quoting Hold corn with them if you…
…with this likkle n*gga Manaman ah p*ss on an old fool Manaman ah diss up your whole crew So what if you done shows in '02? Me…
…jailhouse for a tool, it don't make me a gangster None of that sh*t ain't cool, but You ain't a gangster, don't know what you man…
…my sword like Conan Not that Konan, barbarian Conan You ain't sick, that's my G that you're quoting Hold corn with them if you…
On album Volume 2 (2020)
…with this likkle n*gga Manaman ah p*ss on an old fool Manaman ah diss up your whole crew So what if you done shows in '02? Me…
…jailhouse for a tool, it don't make me a gangster None of that sh*t ain't cool, but You ain't a gangster, don't know what you man…
…my sword like Conan Not that Konan, barbarian Conan You ain't sick, that's my G that you're quoting Hold corn with them if you…
On album Baby Snakes (1983), Zappa In New York (1978)
…of the SOULS THAT I'VE HAD! There was MILHOUS NIXON 'N AGNEW TOO! 'N both of those suckers was WORSE 'N YOU! FZ: LET'S MAKE A DEAL, IF YOU THINK…
THAT'S TRUE I MEAN, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE 'THE DEVIL,' SO . . WHATCHA GONNA DO? HUH? Terry: Now hold on just a second . . . you wanna…
…make a deal with me, hah? FZ: Yeah! Terry: Well ah, I don't know man, you know . . . I just don't know about this . . FZ: What…
On album Drive (1993)
…know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again; "If you need…
…help, hang up and then dial your operator "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again; "If you need help, hang up…
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said, "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said, "Whoa, hold…
On album The Essential "Weird Al" Yankovic (2009), Running With Scissors (1999), Squeeze Box - The Complete Works Of "Weird Al" Yankovic (2017)
…know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again; "If you need…
…help, hang up and then dial your operator "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again; "If you need help, hang up…
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said, "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said, "Whoa, hold…
…know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again; "If you need…
…help, hang up and then dial your operator "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again; "If you need help, hang up…
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said, "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said, "Whoa, hold…
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